Movie Review: Zoombies

I have seen the pinnacle of terrible movies and Zoombies was it. Now, I admit that I am known to watch some of the most ridiculous and outrageous movies ever made. There is actually a little bit of pride that comes with seeing some of the movies that I have bared witness to. For the longest time, I was the guy who had missed seeing some of the best movies or the movies that my generation grew up on. Instead, I watched every B-horror movie that I could get my hands on. And when I noticed Zoombies on Netflix, I nestled into my recliner expecting more of that great, cheesy horror I came to expect from such titles. Instead, I cringed at how absolutely terrible everything was in this movie. My eyes actually began to hurt.

And I am not over exaggerating with this. Zoombies made movies like Sharknado and Zombeavers look like masterpieces. But, when I read the synopsis, I was entrigued. I recently read the graphic novel The Other Dead, about a zombie virus infecting animals in New Orleans, and I thought that there might be some hope for this movie. But man was I wrong.

The movie is set at the Eden Wildlife Refuge, a zoo that holds numerous near-extinct animals and will soon be opening to the public as a one of a kind zoo. But when a virus infects some of the monkeys, the remaining staff and a group of interns must shut down the facility and try to get to safety. But soon, the virus spreads to all of the other animals and it turns into a fight to stay alive for the humans.

Sure, the premise is solid and it sounds like it could be a good movie. But everyone involved in Zoombies failed on every level to do that. And the most notable in that failure is the (lack of) acting. Everyone in the film fails to produce any resemblance of any good, or even decent acting. It is absolutely atrocious. From the staff of the park to the interns, they are all absolutely terrible. The only thing interesting about any of them is that one of the interns looks like a third-rate Clay Matthews ripoff. But his acting still resembled a pile of steaming hot garbage.

Besides the acting, well, everything else was pretty terrible also. The CGI was an absolute joke. Every infected animal was done using CGI and it looked like it may have been done by a team of elementary school kids for a class project. The sets were also vague and pretty boring. If I went to a zoo like that I think I would want my money back. And all of this, of course, falls back on the director. The director took an idea with some promise and made a disaster of a film. 

I usually like to stay positive with movies even when they have flaws, but there is nothing I can say good about this movie at all. I am a huge fan of cheesy horror movies and will usually sit through them all with ease. But Zoombies was a tough one to watch. One of the tagline claims that “It’s Jurassic World of the Dead.” Well, I believe it is more like the movie that you watch if you were dead and stuck in purgatory. Even if you are like me and have an affinity for schlock, don’t waste your time with this movie. I can’t stress that enough. It will only leave you disappointed and wanting to claw your own eyes out!

Daryl Karpinski, Jr.